Cine-maniacs
by Comet-Striker
Summary: One-shot. The Warners and Bradley decide to go see a movie after school, but the theater isn't allowing kids in today because the critics inside don't like kids and they need their privacy. Does that stop the Warners from going through with their plans though? Of course not! Also has Wheel of Morality segment. :)


_Animaniacs is owned by Warner Bros., I don't claim any of them as mine except my own characters I put in, same as with any other franchise I use in here, they're not mine._

 _This is a one-shot._

* * *

 _Varied theme song line of the day: All three Warners going through a loop-de-loop on some tracks in a train: "Toons on a train-ey!"_

 _Tower Escape of the day: The lot seemed quiet for now, then the Water Tower door opened and something that seemed like a long runway came out of it, several meters long. Bradley walked out to the edge of it with some flags, with the runway board bouncing a bit under him with each step he took. He stopped, turned around, and waved the flags all official-like. Inside the tower, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot; in a long biplane with four seats, started it up and got helmets on their heads. Once Yakko in the front-most seat gave the thumbs up, Bradley waved the flags one more time downward and the plane started to move forward. Bradley ran to join them in the back-most, empty fourth seat and put his own helmet on his head after ditching the flags to the side, and all four left the tower runway and took off to the skies after a few rolls around and a loop-de-loop, complete with an "Eat at Joe's" banner flying behind it._

 _Wednesday, 3 PM, Toontown, in the city itself_

It was a rather "normal" day in Toontown as several different toons were walking around enjoying the mostly sunny sky, each one doing their own gags every so often to another for some laughs from more of them that saw. There wasn't that many on the streets and sidewalks today though, but that's okay, Toontown isn't all crazy all the time. Then we move to a kind of more empty part of the town, at a movie theater.

"Well I never!" Shouted a mother to a rude ticket taker, pushing her kid back away towards her again. "I told you it's "no kids" day, we're showing off new movies to critics and we don't want any brat kids ruining their experience! Now if you're not gonna watch anything yourself, go somewhere else!" Said the ticket taker rudely in response as he pointed to a poster with those words on it, looking more tall than strong in his red uniform.

"Well you don't have to be that rude, sir! Come my son, we're leaving this abhorrent excuse for a theatre!" The uptight woman huffed as she left with her kid.

"Buh-bye now." The ticket taker said with a rude smirk and a wave. The kid blew a raspberry at him and he blew one back, how mature. Then he yawned and decided to go to sleep.

A bit later, the Warners and their human friend Bradley were walking down the same street, passing a few other toons that waved at the boy. They had just gotten back from Bradley's school and decided to wander about the town a little first before heading back to the Warner movie lot, agreeing on seeing a movie together. "So what movie are we gonna watch?" Bradley asked curiously, who was dressed in a green, short-sleeved collared shirt; blue jeans and his white tennis shoes today. "Are we gonna see something with superheroes, something with aliens, something with a girl that needs saving?"

"Yes!" All three said at the same time with bright smiles. Bradley raised an eyebrow at that.

"Ehhhhhh, to be more specific, we have a "worst movie Wednesday" every month, so we usually go see a really bad movie and laugh at it." Yakko said.

"And the 'lucky' movie is...?" Bradley asked.

" _Flixels_!" The three sibs said at the same time again as they popped up right in front of him. Bradley tilted his head a bit, thinking. That kinda sounded like- "Hey, there's the movie theater!" Dot pointed out. Bradley noticed and his train of thought was derailed, maybe for the better, as they ran to it. Bradley thought he could pay for it since being the Warners' caretaker and friend managed to get him a bit of spending dough every week.

Then they saw the ticket taker in the booth in his chair, snoozing away. Bradley was about to knock on the window of the booth to wake him, but Yakko stopped him, poking his shoulder.

"I think we got a better idea." Yakko said as Wakko brought out his gag bag and rustled through it, getting out what seemed like a strength test game that you'd see at a carnival. Dot passed the others some earmuffs, to which Bradley accepted right away and put them on, knowing this was gonna be VERY loud.

Wakko set it down next to the booth and got in front of it, getting out a rather giant mallet from behind him, stretching around and rubbing his hands to get ready before taking the mallet, rising it high in the air and slamming it down and hitting the target, sending the metal bar flying up to a rather large bell. The bar hit it directly and the bell rang loudly, even making the ground shake a little, and the bell itself sounding more like a gong. The loudness of it not only woke the ticket taker, but sent him falling out of his seat and to the ground, groaning.

Bradley removed his earmuffs once it was over. "Yikes, imagine that as your alarm clock." He said.

"Not a bad idea, actually..." Yakko said, thinking about that...

"Gah... What do you kids want?!" Said the ticket taker in the booth, rubbing his head and his ears.

Bradley said something first. "Four tickets to _Flixels_ please?" He said after looking behind him, making sure the Warners were still there.

"Oooooh, who modeled your looks, Carrot Top?" Yakko said, regarding the man's messy red haircut under his hat.

The ticket taker grumbled a little at that. "You can go in, mister hero. But these three are staying put." The man said simply, pointing to his "No kids allowed today" sign again below him and the window.

"And why's that?" Bradley asked.

"Cause there's lots of critics in there and they don't like kids and blah blah blah blabbity-" The man covered his mouth at hearing himself start talking like that, then Yakko shook a device in his hand after pressing some buttons on it.

"Sorry, my Boring to English translator's broke again." The older sibling said as he tossed it away.

The ticket taker shook his head. "Anyways, you can't go in, no questions." He said now that he was talking normally again.

"Hmm... Does this count as a question?" Wakko said curiously, pulling out a big green question mark from his hat which asked a random math question of its own.

"That's like saying if these count." Yakko responded as he got a 20 Questions game from his pocket, opening it up and showing twenty small, multicolored question marks inside, higher pitched and louder in tone and more annoying. They asked more random questions before hopping away after a couple more seconds with the man waving them away. The ticket taker then rubbed his temples while Bradley snickered at their antics.

"I said no. No means no!" The man said a bit louder.

"I always thought no meant more myself." Wakko said with a curious expression.

"But come on, who can say no to this face?" Yakko said, pointing to Dot looking as cute as she can be, eyes sparkling too.

"Minnie Mouse's got nothing on thiiiiiiiis!" Dot boasted with her sweet smile, much to the brothers' annoyances.

"Says you." Yakko said with a smug grin.

The man leaned in and just said "no" again, plain and simple. Dot frowned immediately at that and the two brothers looked at each other, humming. Bradley tried to give it a chance himself. "Look, they're with me, you sure they can't come with me?" He said.

The man shook his head again. "I said no they can't!" He shouted now, more annoyed and scowling a little as he crossed his arms.

"Ahhh, now there's that face we love to see." Yakko said with a more mischievous smile.

"Can't you make a teeeeensy exception? What if we give you some bucks?" Wakko said as he popped up in the booth behind the man, with Bradley looking behind him and noticing the middle sib wasn't there by the others anymore. He turned back and saw two "bucks" that just appeared and dropped into the small booth, making the ticket taker cramped inside and squishing his face against the glass, letting out a muffled "no".

"Not even if we make you our special little friend?" Dot said, holding out a sign that said "special friend" in her hands.

Bradley shook his head a bit and smiled a bit. "I really don't think you'd want that." The human boy said to the man.

"But hey, order all of this now and we'll throw in a camera to capture this bonding little moment-" Yakko said as he brought out a camera and snapped a picture in the man's face, the flash making the man in the booth a bit blinded as the older sib pocketed the picture that came out of the camera. "And another kid, free of charge!" He added as he picked up Bradley, holding him up as the human boy waved innocently and smiled before being put back down.

The ticket taker pushed Wakko and the bucks out of the booth, grumbling and grunting in annoyance and rubbing his eyes. "You ain't making my job any easier, you know!" He shouted.

"Well who said we were making it harder?" Yakko said with a smirk. "Besides, we're technically 80 something years old, you can't really call us 'kids' kids, right?"

Bradley then piped up to add to it. "Look at it this way, it's like we're helping you earn your check." The human said with a shrug. "Think of us as mentors and not as needles in your side."

Then a bit later, the man noticed two rather attractive ladies coming towards him and had his attention immediately shifted from the other kids. The ladies, who looked like they'd be fashion models, asked for two tickets. The man now in an infatuated stupor gave them the tickets, complete with dopey grin as the women walked in with a little smirk at their work. It was as if they expected that reaction.

Wakko and Yakko, with hearts popping up around their heads, were immediately love-struck. "Hellooooooooooo, model Nurses!" The brothers shouted out, their ears spinning like propellers for a bit. They were about to run in after the girls, but Bradley grabbed them by the hands before they did, making Yakko and Wakko slip and fall on their rears. That knocked them out of their infatuation as they shook their heads fast, almost a blur.

"Boys." Bradley said, shaking his head.

"You don't know the half of it." Dot responded back to him with a smile.

While the ticket taker was still in **his** infatuation spell, Bradley shushed the Warners once Yakko and Wakko recovered, the three of them following the boy slowly inside while the man was distracted, sneaking and tip-toeing into the cinema.

Inside was a mostly standard but big area, with concession stands, some arcade games, stuff like that. The man outside shook his head and noticed the four kids gone, looked behind him into the glass door, and saw them standing there. Bradley noticed too and that got him a bit panicked, they needed to move now. "So how about that movie, let's go to it, okay?" He said nervously, ushering the Warners down one of the movie halls leading to different movies and theaters.

The man had entered after them right away. But the sibs saw him first, so they grabbed Bradley's hands and without saying anything, immediately zipped to a _Flixels_ theater in only a couple of seconds before the man could get closer. "Jeez, any faster and you'd get your own internet service named after you too!" Bradley said a bit dazed and surprised when he came to a sudden stop with them, out of sight of the ticket taker. "Gotta tell me when you do that..." He added, shaking his head. He then saw another "no kids allowed" sign on the door.

"Being made in the '30s doesn't really make you 'kids' like you said, right?" Bradley asked when he saw the sign. The Warners shook their heads and smiled. Well, Wakko and Dot nodded, and Yakko shook his head. The human thought for a second, then just shrugged and headed inside with them, disregarding the sign as the movie had already started. They got in their seats, coincidentally one row behind some of the critics as the ticket taker was hot on their trail, looking for what theater the kids entered.

Some minutes passed and the toons brought out some big containers of popcorn and sodas, including one each for Bradley thinking he could eat a container of popcorn almost as big as him. The movie was a bit loud and the actors inside it were sounding uninterested, but the toons watching outside of the Warners were none the wiser.

Wakko was chomping down on his popcorn rather loudly, and one of the critics, a man in a snooty accent and suit said: "Do you mind? We're trying to watch this flick."

The middle brother shrugged a bit and spat the popcorn back into the container, offering the bucket to him. "Do you want some then?" He said, to the disgust of the critic.

"Eech, no!" He said in disgust, shaking his head. He just resumed watching, he didn't want to be distracted.

Yakko drank his soda louder right after that, then the second critic turned around to face him, sounding as snooty as the first, but an older woman this time. "Do you mind?" She said with her own snobbish accent.

The older sib shook his head. "Oh no, I insist, go ahead and keep watching." Yakko said with an innocent smile. She grumbled and resumed watching, and he did the same thing not five seconds later, laughing rather hard at a particularly bad part of the movie.

"Is this some kind of loudness contest to you, child?" The female critic said a bit more annoyed and louder.

"Depends. Does the prize include you, me, a makeover for those crow's feet, a sundae and a viewing of _Attack of the Brain Drinkers_?" Yakko said as he jumped into her arms. Dot soon joined them.

"I call doing her nails!" Dot shouted. "Does Lee Redmond know you're borrowing her's?" She added as she held up those long-nailed hands, noticing their length though not to THAT extreme obviously.

Wakko's belly then grumbled loudly, like a lion's roar that echoed a little in the theater. "Well, I think we may have a winner there." Yakko said.

The middle sibling sheepishly smiled and waved at them. "'Scuse me." Wakko said bashfully.

Bradley just laughed a bit at the toons being toons, shaking his head a bit. "That's what happens when you don't eat, can't get mad at that." The human chimed in.

The male critic turned around with a scowl. "Young man, can you please control these things?!" He shouted.

Bradley shrugged a bit. "I was told to either keep them happy or in control, it'd be a miracle to do both." He said as he ate a bit of his popcorn. By now it was agreed that to manage to keep three kids like the Warners happy AND in control would be impossible. "Besides, I'm a boy, not a man." Bradley added with his mouth a bit full of the popcorn, purposefully taking the critic's words literally.

"I'll say." Dot remarked. The male critic groaned a bit and tried to put his focus on the movie again while the woman critic threw the siblings off.

"So can _I_ have the prize then?" Wakko said as he popped out of the female critic's drink a minute later, making them scream and her drop the drink.

"Yes or no, I'm still getting those nails, they look really disgusting." Dot said as she hopped down and started "fixing" said nails with an oversized nail filer she brought out from behind her. Both of the adults stood up and started backing away, about to rip their hair.

"Manager, security, anyone!" Both critics shouted loudly for assistance.

Wakko just resumed eating his popcorn, this time eating it all, including the container in one gulp, letting out a gigantic burp that even shook the theater they were in. The sound made Bradley cover his ears and the critics yelp and fall backward onto the floor.

"He's got a concert doing 'Ride of the Valkyries' later this month, gotta keep the pipes fresh." Yakko explained to the fallen critics, an answer to a question never asked.

Sure enough the ticket taker, now with a big usher by his side, heard the noises and calls for help from where they were and barged into the theater the Warners and Bradley were in. The critics got up and "dusted" themselves off with feather dusters that they brought out of nowhere, then waved at the staff that just entered.

"Wuh-oh." Bradley said to himself as he turned to the door and saw the others enter, ducking under the seats slowly to hide. The Warners were already out of sight and gone.

The critics were ranting a bit to them on how three "weird kids with black fur and annoying faces" were harassing them, and while the ticket taker and usher were distracted by listening to them, Bradley had a last bit of popcorn from his container and dropped it, starting to move to the exits slowly to try and escape.

As Bradley made his way there slowly, he noticed Wakko on the big screen, literally inside the movie pestering the main characters just by being there. He got out his gag bag again and let out tons of movie characters from 90's flicks that ran rampant in the movie, leaving Bradley a bit surprised and the critics that were watching in a bit of disgust. They said this was definitely going on their review as a bad point, both for the movie and the cinema itself. They screamed at Wakko on the screen, telling him to get out, and Wakko just waved at them with his goofy smile and tongue out as usual while the movie went chaotic fast.

"So I guess that's why _Flixels_ has that name now..." Bradley said to himself, crossing his arms as the ticket taker and usher looked around for the other kids.

He soon saw Yakko poke the ticket taker's shoulder from behind, then disappeared when he looked back. Then Wakko reappeared and did the same thing to the usher. Then Dot did the same thing to both of them at the same time. The two staff got into a bit of an argument of who touched who first("Goodnight everybody!" Yakko said to the readers), and the critics soon joined in trying to get their attention with their problems. Then Yakko said "Guess who?" and covered the ticket taker's eyes as he sat on the man's shoulders.

"Uhhh, Tom Hardy?" He answered.

"Aww, did you peek?" Yakko said in response, hopping off to slam a popcorn bucket onto the ticket taker's head and zip away, the bucket now stuck on him. The usher went over and tried to take it off and eventually did, making them all fall back onto the ground.

The Warners eventually were caught by the ticket taker and the usher. "Bet you can do jazz hands like a pro, bub." Dot said to the usher in regards to the size of said hands as they were brought to the exit, about to throw the Warners out of the theater. But the ticket taker and the usher were thrown out instead, much to their confusion. All three sibs brushed their hands with happy smiles on their faces.

"Never gets old." Yakko said with a proud smirk.

Bradley soon joined them. "So, when can I learn to do that?" He asked. The critics were running at them at that moment, looking angry.

"Later." Yakko managed to say before all three toons zipped away. Bradley now alone and in the line of fire, ran into one of the rows of chairs to try and escape, running down towards the big screen on the other side when the ticket taker and usher returned and saw him too, growling in anger as they joined the middle-aged critics.

Before the human could be cornered though, the Warners swung down acrobat style on a trapeze that appeared, each Warner interlinking their arms with another's legs and stretching down to grab Bradley, the adults below now just watching. Wakko got him first, then he was tossed to Dot, then Yakko, then was tossed into the projector room through the opening window, with Bradley rolling a bit after landing inside and stopping at a wall, groaning a bit as he got up.

The trio of toons joined him and zipped through the opening with ease with Wakko and Dot helping him up and toward the window that looked out into the theater area, with the other people down below yelling up at them to get out of there.

"Hmm, I think we should make this an interactive movie. My remote, my feminine sib sister?" Yakko asked, with Dot doing a salute and picking up a remote control that was being carried by Pinky and the Brain scurrying by, noticing a bit too late right when they left the room. Dot handed it to Yakko who took it, and brought Bradley closer to the window by draping his arm over his shoulder.

"Watch and learn, my friend of flesh and blood." Yakko said as he brought him close to watch the theater below, pressing a button on it and making everyone talk in slow motion in the theater except Bradley and the Warners, to the confusion of everyone else in there, wondering what was going on now.

Bradley's eyes widened a little bit at that, impressed. "Now that's awesome!" He looked at Yakko who let him go and pulled away. "Universal remote?" Bradley asked.

"Yup! Go ahead and give it a shot or two!" Yakko said mischievously. "It's the only kind of shot we can let kids see and give anyway." He whispered to the other two sibs.

Bradley nodded and pointed the remote out to the theater again at the critics and staff arguing to themselves, pressing the pause button. They froze in place, complete with making them look like they were in television fuzz. The human laughed at that and continued on, ranging from making them fast forward, raise and lower their voice pitch, dropping pies and various heavy gags on them like rain to make the scatter around, even making them dance to some dance music that he made the movie play too.

The Warners were now sitting in chairs right below the window Bradley was at while he was having his fun, in the very back row as they had their popcorn and soda again. They had smug grins as they ate and drank their foods and beverages, unaffected by the remote's influence.

"Can't wait for the sequel, this director's got potential." Yakko said with a wink to the audience, just about to fade out on them before something made it fade back in with a record scratch when the four adults saw the Warners and tried to fight against the remote's control to run after them in a group in a last-ditch swarm.

Not too long after that, an big anvil fell down and squashed the four toon adults flat with a big THUMP before they could reach them. The three Warners looked up at the projector opening and saw Bradley looking out of it, down back at the siblings. "Did I get them? I pressed the button with an anvil on it, I think that was it!" He called out.

"Yeah, now you're learning!" Yakko responded back, the other two nodding. Bradley then walked down some stairs back into the theater itself, sitting down next to Wakko at the leftmost side of them. The four toon adults groaned as they crawled out slowly, looking rather confused and bent up, even letting out little giggles in their dazed stupor as they left the theater. "This is getting one star on my sheet..." The male critic said as he walked out just as dazed and messy as the others.

"I didn't miss the movie, did I?" Bradley asked.

"Eeeeeeeh, you only missed a complete collection of 90s character cameos littering the screen. Nothing that special that you can't see TV trying to bring back." Yakko said as Bradley was passed a container of his own popcorn and soda again, but the container was all empty. Wakko shrugged a bit at that, smiling bashfully. "Sorry."

"Speaking of sequels, you don't think your movie'll get one eventually, will it?" Bradley asked. The four kids looked at each other, then the audience in a double-take, each with a raised eyebrow for a second or two.

"Nah!" They all said with smiles and a wave-off, then went to finish watching their movie before fading to black.

* * *

 _It's that time again!_

 _"Time to go to my cuteness rehearsal?" Dot said._

 _"Time to renew our pay or play contracts?" Wakko said._

 _"Time to go for a jog around the park?" Bradley said as well._

 _"Nope! It's time to learn today's lesson." Yakko said. "And to find out what it is, we turn to the Wheel of Morality!" He added as he brought out the Wheel, then gave it a big spin. "Wheel of Morality turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn."_

 _The wheel stopped on 2._

 _"And the moral of today's story is: "Dress up warmly, unless you're in the Florida Keys, then dress up coldly."_

 _"I feel like I should say something about that, but I won't." Dot said._

 _"Now that's rather interesting." Wakko said._

 _"Not sure if it's worth remembering, but I'll put it in the back of my head anyway." Bradley said._

* * *

 _Ending line of the day from the Tower: Each Warner pops up to join the others after saying their line: Wakko: "Stop..." / Dot: "Drop..."/ Yakko: "Roll..." / All three including Bradley after he pops up last: "And party!"_


End file.
